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02 March 2007 @ 03:37 pm
wits end - help!  
jack is entering that stage where he cries if he doesn't get what he wants. for example, my cell phone. he likes to play with it, but only if its flipped open (it's a flip phone). as soon as i give it to him closed, he freaks and starts crying. sometimes i just open it to get some peace, and other times, i take it away and endure the crying.

so today, i'm about to put my head through a wall. i don't want to set up bad habits for the future. i don't want to give in because he will then learn he can cry to get what he wants, and that's not something i'm willing to tolerate in the future.

so what do i do? do i buy a set of earplugs and ignore him? i hate the concept of letting him cry it out, but i also know he isn't crying for any sort of need (like the need to be fed, changed, held etc). explaining is no good as he is only nine and a half months old. substitution of the item doesn't seem to work either =/
 
 
 
Marlespomarlespo on March 3rd, 2007 01:12 am (UTC)
Ah I remember this. And of course it still happens if Philip has his mind set on something. First try ditracting him. Act super crazy happy about something else lie OMG JACK DID YOU KNOW MY TOES CAN SQUEAK and then pinch your toes and squeak them. I know that sounds really dumb, but I did it thisa fternoon with Philip. Me being really silly sort of shocked him out of his fit... and of course he instantly forgot about what he wanted that I wasn't letting him have. But I am also a real hard ass, and if I say no then he doesn't get it period, he can cry all he wants. I remain calm and just basically say "dud, you can cry but go do it on the couch (or somewhere else) because you aren't getting what you want and that's that" and I just ignore the tantrum. That has made it a lot easier at this stage, because he knows I mean it when I say no.
K: Jack Oh so emo...dragonankh on March 3rd, 2007 01:54 am (UTC)
i think the super crazy happy might work! ive tried distraction with another toy, but he won't have it. damn that permanency! i thought i'd have more time than this! :)

he cries at everything! i go into the kitchen and close the gate behind me (he can see me) he starts bawling. he hates the sound of the gate closing.. even if im in the same room as him! *headdesk* i can't wait til he starts to understand words

and i don't want to keep saying no and not backing it up with anything. because then it loses its power, if you get what i mean. my cousin does that with her toddler. she'll say "no" and he'll ignore her and continue doing what he's doing.

Starbunny: gonna get joo!eleneala on March 11th, 2007 12:41 pm (UTC)
Definitely with the distraction thing, it has to be something entirely different than what he's going after because they can sense 'replacement' items. ;) Davie's doing the same thing only he doesn't just cry... he screams.... *shudders* He has this horrible mad raptor-like shriek thing...

Ok so it sounds funny when I say it that way :P

Anyway, one other coping mechanism I use is avoidance. Avoid avoid avoid. if I know he's going to want my cell phone (or with him it's food because we have no cell phone) I will do my best not to let him see it. he's still not quite old enough to go looking for things except for in the places he last saw them.

And when he does get something taken away and cries I am a bit like marlespo; I say 'Oh well, I'm sorry but that's not a David toy.' It's a bit of a verbal shrug. I know it's hard now but if you don't make a big deal out of the crying it will eventually begin to wear off as a manipulation device.
(for now ;) I am not going to get into the toddler tantrums *evil laughter*)